a little drunk and WAY to much coke

God I am so glad I have school and a reason to be gone most of the day tomorrow. I did good on eating... kinda. Tomorrow will be better nbo food unless I'm forced to eat by my boyfriend. My brother and his wife are fighting which sucks so bad and I feel like they are falling apart. They have been distant from each other so much lately.

I just pray that this never happens to me and my boyfriend. I love women though and sometimes... it might be because of my past I was rapped a long time ago and am still very fucked. But sometimes I feel like I just want to run away from what I have it feels selfish and I feel I should punish myself for it. My family is good to me and loves me as is my boyfriend and friends but I feel like I so alone.

I feel like I can't tell anyone about how I really feel. I just want some space and silence. O well. Ill get some tomorrow so that is awesome!!!

I will probably end up writing in a couple hours and tell you how hung over and pissed I am about the amount of calories I took in from these damn cokes! I am not drinking anymore!!

Please ladies give me the strenght I need to avoid alcohol. I really feel I'm addicted!

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