143.8

This is just ridiculous!!!!! O well it is going to get better. I don’t even find most food enjoyable anymore. I just stare in the cabinets I don’t even know what I want to eat most of the time. I binged the other night. I ate like half a box of cereal and ramen and chips and the worst part is I did it right in front of my boyfriend. I was just watching TV with him and just keep getting up and getting food and then I just went to bed after I ate all that food and just let it sit there and all I can say is I paid big time for it the next day. I think that is why I haven’t lost basically any weight so I am upset but I understand at the same time.

Yesterday I did really well! Today I am going to do good as well!

I am starting to get out of my funk that I was in. I was so depressed and felt like my life was just shit. That girl that I was seeing and shit really fucked me up but I will not let her win!!! Also, I will not let this fat ass of my mine, this food monster inside me win. I don’t want to be full like I was the other night ever again. Anyway that’s off topic. So I am starting to feel better I think that this coming month is going to be a good one!!!! I am thinking of fast for the first four days which will also be the last four days of my summer classes! I think I would have died this summer if I didn’t take these classes. It is the only thing that has been consistent and stable for a long time. Me and my man finally found jobs he is going back to piercing and I am going to keep cleaning my parents house and watch my niece. I hope I do well!

I have another option right now though. I could go to an interview at vitamin world but I think I would rather help my family. Plus someone else that maybe actually cares about selling vitamins could get that job.

So I kind of have a weight loss plan. I want to lose two pounds a week that will be eight pounds a month and 24 pounds by the time my Vegas birthday trip comes along. I have to be skinny for Vegas and just in general I want to fucking see my hipbones. I am going to try really really hard. My main thing is just going to be eating as little as possible every day. I am going to do this!!! I HAVE TOOOOOOO!!!

Wish me luck and Good luck to all of you.

Stay strong
<3Jess

This is the new addition to our little family my baby girl. she is crazy hyper but super sweet. She is just a lover though she just likes to play and cuddle couldn't ask for more!!